I have spent many a blue moon  searching for the most impeccable, most tantalizing and ambrosial of restauraunts for my publication of  “Americas Best Dives,” and I have yet to find the prized jewel.

But  readers, fear not, for while traveling through Springfield, Virginia I have discovered the ruby among the cubic zirconia. When approaching this most fabulous arena of banquets, my senses became overwhelmed with the most tempting of aromas: lard.

The overall first appearance of this watering hole was the brash yellow and red ambiance, and the copious “M,”standing luminously above, becoming permanently branded on my retinas. The monstrous “M” above the restaurant confused me at first, but I have concluded that it must stand for “Magnifique.”

 Jittery and ready for a meal of a lifetime,  I walked inside invited by the swell of voices. Gazing dreamily across the faces, I noticed a variety of characters; little people and big people, tall people and wide people. When reviewing a restaurant you must take notice of the consumers and there general expressions to determine whether the cuisine is appetizing. From what I saw, the clients all had grins on their faces, accompanied with various bits of food and ketchup.

While waiting in line, I eagerly read the glossy menu. They had everything one could desire: burgers, chicken nuggets, McMuffins, burritos, kid menus, salads, yogurt and even a dollar menu!

At last it was my turn to order. An older woman wearing an off red uniform asked for my order, and I decided to buy a premium caesar salad, the “world famous” fries,  a honey mustard snack wrap and an fruit ‘n yogurt parfait. When my food was ready, I could barely control my glee as I glided towards a table, hastily swept off the  crumb covered surface and tucked in. I could no longer resist the temptations before me and took bite of each delicacy.

 I cannot describe to you the multitude of flavors I tasted—meat substitute, wilted salad, overly sweetened yogurt, and not to mention mushy fries. Delicious beyond belief, I could barely haul myself out of the sticky seat and into my car.

That night, I went to bed with a full stomach continually tasting the food over and over and over again. McDonalds makes your heart a more efficient machine by making it work twice as hard!