Are you bored with conventionally designed boats? Do you ever look at oversized pumpkins and think, “Man, if only they could serve a greater purpose and possibly make me money.”?
Well lucky for you The Ocho has found the sport to satisfy those aching desires you so deeply possess. Giant Pumpkin Kayak Racing.
This innovative sport requires contestants to grow or buy an oversized pumpkin ranging from 500 to 1,000 pounds, hollow it out leaving a person sized hole in the side of it, place the pumpkin in the water with the contestant expertly placed inside the newly crafted sea vessel, give the contestant a kayaking paddle and begin racing.
And this isn’t a sport just for Halloween, either, sports fans! The Oracle has learned that Pumpkin Kayaking can take place year-round providing, of course, one has the necessary orange equipment.
The distances the kayakers must travel vary by location, ranging from a quarter mile to even half mile for the truly hardened and bold competitors.
One of the more prominent locations of this event is the Annual Windsor Pumpkin Regatta which draws an average of 10,000 spectators and features a multitude of attractions with the main event being the great pumpkin kayak race.
Supposedly the origin of this incredible sport, the Windsor Regatta is held in the highest prestige to all competitive pumpkin kayakers and truly serves as an ultimate goal for young and aspiring kayakers of the future.
The Windsor Pumpkin Regatta is held in October on Lake Pesaquid in Windsor, Nova Scotia. The course is a half mile, from start to finish.
One of the reigning champions of this regatta in 2008 and 2010, Anthony Cook, won the event in a pumpkin painted to resemble a soccer ball, stated in an interview with United Press International that “you need a pumpkin that cuts through the water good—that’s the key.”
Now, as a 15-18 year old public school student in Northern Virginia you may wonder, “Why does this matter to me? How does this affect the student body as a whole? ”
Well, think about it—when was the last time you felt true accomplishment while at the same time moving briskly down a river in a gigantic carved out gourd. Never?Then it seems that The Ocho has found the solution for you. Think about it, what could look better on college apps or proudly displayed on the exterior of the school than “Giant Pumpkin Kayaking State Champions”?
“It would literally be the peak of my existence to be a pumpkin kayaking champion,” said sophomore Neil Kratzer. The envy and admiration received from the surrounding schools who have not taken such an interest in this sport will be immeasurable.
So, Spartans, The Ocho has written this article not to entertain, but to inform the student body of the limitless opportunities and ultimate fulfillment awaiting them in the world of competitive Pumpkin Kayaking.