Crikey! Good parkers on Rolling Road have become an endangered species, and it’s time to take action. Help save our beloved breed of drivers and learn how to park!

We see it every morning. Juniors, seniors and the occasional sophomore veer onto Rolling in a sleep-deprived haze, unaware of the problems they’re causing for their fellow drivers. We get it. It’s early, you stayed up late last night working on an AP Lang paper and your coach made you run five miles yesterday at practice. But that’s no excuse for not being a competent driver.

One of the main issues juniors face every morning is that there are no spots on Rolling come 7 a.m. But juniors aren’t using the space that’s there, and are parking miles apart from one another. Even though we’re all fairly new drivers and don’t want to cause an accident by being too close, leaving that much space forces other drivers into dangerous situations. Not only is this unfair to your peers but you’re setting yourself up for a future of parking failures. You see that car double parked at Starbucks? That’s going to be you in ten years.

We went out to Rolling during the school day to see how many more cars could be fit, were students able to park properly. Shockingly, we found that an additional seven cars would be able to park, if drivers just moved up a little. Some cars were the perfect yard apart, while others left room for a sizeable picnic.

We understand that parallel parking or backing up in a straight line isn’t the easiest task early in the morning (or anytime of day for some of you), but the solution is simple. Upon getting to Rolling, PULL ALL THE WAY UP. Don’t park in the middle of the gravel so you can get your “favorite spot.” Pull all the way up to the light so your fellow drivers can actually get a spot without having to work out how they’re going to fit their car in sideways. When you do pull up, don’t park your car farther than a yard from the car in front of you. It just isn’t necessary.

Now that we’ve brought this issue to your attention, we hope the parking on Rolling can be saved.

Sincerely,

The Parking Police