A snowball fight is a classic tradition between rival neighborhood kids; some say that we are too old to pound each other with blocks of ice.
Yes, apparently this is an actual point for debate among high schoolers. As we grow older, the events that we participated in while we were kids seem to become “not groovy” and “for lame-o’s”, but there is a simple solution for snowball fights. Just make them competitive!
Snowball fights start out as fun games aimed to show off your arm to the pretty fourth grade girls but now all the girls are huddled at Starbucks and obvi don’t have time to watch the battle.
We can simply turn this “childish event” into a full out war!
Humans are a violent species; we play Call of Duty, watch NFL players smash heads, and only watch Animal Planet to see a gazelle get absolutely mauled by a carnivorous cheetah. Snowball fights are another way we express our violent nature.
Like the new awesome Nerf dart games, teenage boys can suit up in snowball fight armor and make targets to aim at! Or if that’s not your cup of tea, then play it like dodge ball with a knockout system. Any way you have snow battles is acceptable but we cannot give up on the childhood passion that we all have inside.
If we are too old for snowball fights, then what is next? Are we all of a sudden too old for the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny? How about Barney, our favorite purple dinosaur? What about the Power Rangers? Or Blue’s Clues? Come on people let’s think with our heads here.
Before we jump into a snowball fight all willy-nilly, we have to realize that this isn’t the backyard anymore. We are older, so we have to fight like we are older. We need to realize that there are specific techniques that are essential for lasting success on the battlefield.
This success, however, won’t come easy, so we must proper strategies into account. Oval snowballs are not accepted anymore and must be circular. Also, a light dusting does not constitute a battle; there needs to be some wetness in the snow or else your ice-grenade will explode before impact. Furthermore, the proper equipment is crucial to survival because a snowball fight without gloves is basically like waving the white flag. Following these tips will eliminate the childish mistakes that we all have made in the past and propel us to constant entertainment while we snowball fight.
There are always going to be doubters; people that say that snowball fights aren’t cool anymore. Stop worrying what other people think and just turn the other cheek to these discouraging comments. Let them live their boring lives, let them worry about which plain-colored tie they are going to pack for the next day and if they are going to get to their meeting on time. We can consider who is going to get a face full of snow.
High school takes so much time out of our lives and we need a break. So the next time it snows (hopefully before March this year), push aside all those AP assignments and get out and participate in a real American tradition: a snowball fight.