Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and love (or at least a deep stage of “like”) is in the air. Flowers will be given, chocolates will be eaten, and hands will be held. There is enough cuteness on February 14 every year to melt the polar ice caps, which would ironically break Al Gore’s heart.
Yet, for such a simple holiday consisting largely of wearing some shade of red, and construction paper hearts; both boys and girls will whine and complain about something insignificant or other, like a significant other, and let us tell you: it’s just plain silly.
“Girls are so expensive, I don’t have the money to be buying her flowers or gifts on Valentine’s Day,” said many confused boys. I have seen roses being sold in gas stations on Valentine’s Day for a dollar a piece. So you cannot tell me that girls are expensive, buying a flower costs less than a pack of gum.
Besides, if Valentine’s Day is about showing your special someone that you really care, it can be done without flowers. Yes, flowers are classic, but they are not necessary.
If you are the type that struggles to finance such floral endeavors, that’s absolutely okay. Consider making your significant other a homemade gift, like a pet rock. Pet rocks require little to no maintenance, and are guaranteed to last indefinitely, as a symbol of your relationship.
When presenting her with the homemade gift (that you found in your back yard), be sure to explain that diamonds are rocks, and your rock is also a rock, so really you are basically giving her a diamond. She will love it, and if she doesn’t, explain that she doesn’t understand love.
Girls, if your crush does not get the memo and approach you with flowers and or pet rocks on Valentine’s Day, please do not complain. It is 2015, and we live in the ripe age of feminism. Gone are the days of men strictly doing the courting – if you dig someone, go get a shovel.
Do not wait for them to claw their way out of the ground to you.
Perhaps this metaphor is too intense; but nonetheless, do not fret about “not having anyone” on Valentine’s Day. Boys will undoubtedly appreciate flowers and pet rocks, too.
Alternatively, if you do not want to get your boyfriend or special someone flowers and a pet rocks, which again are classics, I have a simple suggestion: a five carat diamond necklace. Easy enough. I suggest going to Jared, because what boy doesn’t love jewelry?
If he refuses your inexpensive gift, point out that he can’t say he doesn’t like diamond necklaces if he has never owned a diamond necklace. Plus, boys that wouldn’t appreciate a diamond necklace are obviously not worth your time. Worst case scenario you break up with him, and keep the necklace, which is a real win-win since boys are overrated and diamonds are not.