Welcome back to school, Spartans! And if you don’t really want to come back, a mere 20 minutes a day can spare you from your parents’ wrath.
That’s right. According to the new FCPS attendance policy, all you have to do is show up for the last five minutes of each class and the only thing that goes into the “system” is an unexcused tardy.
And you can add some more time to your “break” from classes by walking in when a lesson is underway.
Teachers are supposed to record the time you enter the classroom, but if you are interrupting a lesson, they probably won’t stop to open up the attendance system and record the information. This process could take away a good portion of class time. By the time they adjust attendance, you will be long gone, free to do as you please.
In years past, teachers recorded students who missed most of class as “absent.” That’s no longer allowed with the new system, but we couldn’t explain to you why that is, other than to quote an administrator: “These are the guidelines we have to follow.”
Now it will be an accomplishment to have unexcused absences: Teachers may even start displaying record boards to show which students slack off the hardest.
And seniors, do not worry about senioritis, because it’s now even easier to call yourself out sick: Now all you have to do is send in a note, call, or send an e-mail from your “parents” and you can take the whole day off.
The task of recording the coming and going of students throughout the day was once given to the attendance office, but who knows what they are needed for now. It makes much more sense to pile work on top of the people trying to teach students and distract them from their actual jobs.
During the 2012-2013 school year, students had to struggle with the terrible inconvenience of walking to the attendance office and then walking all the way to class. We even had to deal with the outlandish rule that if they were more than 15 minutes late to class it would be counted as an unexcused absence.
The best part of this new policy is that it allows athletes to essentially skip school all day and still be eligible to play that night. Is that fair? Of course not, but athletes can get away with it, so why not?
So, if you want to become the next phenom, it’s possible with the new attendance policy.
Use this policy to veg out on Netflix, go on a hike, train your dog, or catch up on school work. The possibilities are endless!
The new policy allows us to maximize the new, later start time, because being in class at 8:10 wasn’t late enough.
And if you’re too lazy to impersonate your parent or show up on time just remember to show up at 9:35, 11:10, 1:15, and 2:50 and enjoy the vacation. But most importantly Spartans, remember to Abuse it or Lose it!