New program probs not intended to terrorize us

We have a new grading/attendance system named iSIS. I don’t know about you, but it terrorizes me.
FCPS purchased this system, which is guaranteed to be a top-of-the-line program for catching skippers and regurgitating report cards, in recent years. Our school tried out the attendance part of iSIS last Spring.
We apparently liked it so much that teachers are using iSIS this year to record our grades, too.
Of course, everyone has had a good laugh about the name. It seems that another terrorist group—the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria—had the acronym first. Although research tells us that both groups—the guys in Syria and the gradebook system—started in 2006.
So, someone had the bright idea that we should change the gradebook’s acronym. In the last week or two, teachers’ electronic attendance/gradebooks have suddenly started showing the name SIS, as if that’s supposed to be nicer and erase the fact that the program is still called iSIS. Or tamer. Or less like the scary guys in the Middle East.
SIS—that sounds more like a cyst, which makes sense, in a way.
Personally, I find it ridiculous that the name of our grading/attendance system is iSIS, or SIS, or whatever they want to call themselves. Come on—out of all the names in the world we pick the one formerly called iSIS? Might as well have named it Al-Qaeda or Boko Haram.
Recently, ISIS (the real terrorist group) released two horrific videos featuring the beheading of American journalists. Then, they posted a video of the same fate befalling a French tourist.
One can only assume that is the reason FCPS (or whoever is in charge here) came to its senses and changed the name.
“Fast & effective” is the new SIS system’s motto. I’m sure that’s one of the many things the terrorist group has in common with the educational program.
We were worried for awhile when administrators started to sing the praises of iSIS (the educational program). But then teachers found out that iSIS—SIS, whatever—blocks all military e-mails for some strange reason, so if your dad is a colonel or a commander, he won’t be getting your grade report anytime soon. I think the CIA needs to look into this recent development.
Our school has a consistent record of getting on the news every year for something. Well, I figured out what it’s going to be this year! I can already see the headline: “ISIS invades WS.” It could mean anything.
iSis, SIS, or whatever promises to “Eliminate multiple redundant systems and improve administrative efficiency,” according to its Web site.
It’s like a European school naming its computer program Crips or Bloods. Here is my main complaint: Why name it iSIS in the first place?