Did someone say ‘Pumpkin Spice’?

Shannon Gage, Oracle Staff Writer

  • You step outside in the morning and are immediately hit with a hypothermia-inducing blast of icy air.
  • You step outside in afternoon and are immediately hit with a heat wave comparable to the climate of the fiery pits of Hell. The Uggs and sweater that were comfortable this morning become soggy sweat traps of death. Oh, the joys of the diverse climatic experiences Northern Virginia offers!
  • Despite nighttime temperatures comparable to those of a polar ice storm, kids have taken to smearing their shirtless bodies with paint at football games as a valiant but admittedly unnecessary gesture of devotion to WS.
  • The inevitable #sweaterweather selfies begin to surface on your Instagram feed.
  • It becomes increasingly difficult to find a girl who isn’t wearing leggings, Uggs and a sweater. Accidental twinning every day! What are the odds!?
  • Pumpkin spice lattes! Pumpkin spice candles! Pumpkin spice bagels! Pumpkin spice creamer! Pumpkin spice body wash! Pumpkin spice peanut butter! Pumpkin spice Pringles! Pumpkin spice beef jerky!
  • The taste of pumpkin spice becomes permanently ingrained into your mouth.
  • Pumpkin-spice-flavored fluid begins to flow through your veins instead of blood.
  • Everyone on Instagram suddenly becomes a professional nature photographer. #trees #fall #nature #nofilter
  • Excited by the changing seasons, stores rush to stock their shelves with Christmas decorations and products. Because it’s almost Halloween, it’s pretty much Thanksgiving, which means it’s basically Christmas. Sorry, non-denominational holiday season.
  • Throwing piles of leaves into the air becomes a regular pastime for girls on Instagram.
  • The glorious golden tan you worked so hard for all summer fades back to a color comparable to a blank sheet of printer paper. It is advisable to wear dark-colored clothing in order to avoid blending into the white walls at school during this season. Stay tuned for tips on standing out against the snow in the winter.
  • Every girl you know suddenly develops a ravenous appetite for fresh-picked apples. Or maybe just for “likes” on the artsy pictures they post of themselves picking the apples. Either one.
  • It becomes clear who that one kid who wears shorts all year long, even in sub-zero temperatures, is.
  • Walking outside becomes an increasingly crunchy experience.
  • Keeping gutted vegetables with chunks cut out of them on your front porch and calling them “jack-o-lanterns” becomes socially acceptable.
  • People start wearing thin sweaters or North Faces to school and complaining about how cold it is. Because wearing a thicker coat just wouldn’t be as cool. Literally.
  • Did I mention pumpkin spice?