The Ten Commandments of Sparta



I. Thou shalt not shove. We’re all going
to the same place and the extra aggression
is unneeded.
II. Thou shall bring layers. The unpredictable
outdoor climate paired with fluctuating
trailer temperature deems a
cardigan necessary.
III. Thou shalt not jump the fence. What
if you fall? There are easier ways of
getting out of class than going to the
emergency room.
IV. Thou shalt not utilize your phone during
passing period. You’re just slowing
us all down; please stop.
V. Thou shalt not hog nor clog the bathrooms.
We only have seven minutes between
classes; don’t make us even later
to class.
VI. Thou shall use the bleachers. Stairs are
overrated (and crowded) anyway.
VII. Thou shalt not run. Does it really matter
if you get to class faster? Everyone
will be late anyway, you overachiever.
VIII. Thou shall wear closed-toe shoes, especially
in the rain and other dismal
conditions. Rocks are painful and no
one wants to wait for you to fix it.
IX. Thou shall speak with your inside
voice. The walls are thin and your conservation
isn’t interesting enough for
other classes to hear.
X. Thou shall be courteous. If we’re going
to make it in the trailer park, we all
need to stick together.