Students wonder: to cuff or not to cuff


Photo courtesy of Maeve Hennessy

Juniors Ryan Metz and Tanvir Singh use their Hollywood-level acting to demonstrate the body language of uncuffers who do not want to be in a relationship.

Maeve Hennessy, Scoop Editor

Fall is usually the time for cuddling up next to a bonfire, hayrides while holding hands, and sipping apple cider with that special someone. Not this year folks! Cuffing season 2018 has officially been named UNcuffing season!

If you are bitter and alone, or too focused on school to be in a relationship right now, then the uncuffing season is perfect for you. The cuffing season, for the readers who are not familiar with the concept, is a time when teenagers are expected to start a relationship as the weather starts to get colder, in order to cuddle and spend time with a special someone. This general trend of finding a significant other to spend the cozy season with is overrated; why be in a relationship when you can be single and alone? What’s the big appeal with couple’s Halloween costumes when you can just dress up as the horse’s behind all by yourself?

Uncuffing season is much more logical than cuffing season for two main reasons: you’ll save money (and food), and you get to work on yourself. Just one Pumpkin Spice Latte is expensive on its own, and having to pay for TWO Pumpkin Spice Lattes is just insanity to me. We can all agree, sharing food is irritating, so imagine having to share your delicious Panera butternut squash soup with your significant other. You may say that you love them, but do you really love them more than your food? Autumn is the season of some of the best dishes of the year, and if I were you I’d be saving those mashed potatoes and that delicious turkey all for your own stomach.

Besides food and money (the two most important things in the world, obviously), taking time to work on yourself is really important and it supports a healthy lifestyle. Fall is a great time for reflection and figuring out what goals you have for the year.

Being single at the beginning of the school year, or the whole year, or even all of highschool, is perfectly fine and will always be a great option for students. Being in a relationship is great too, even though it kills me to say it.  If you are the type of person who likes the company of another and enjoys having your food taken, then your uncuffing season may end up being a cuffing one.

However, as a proactive advocate for uncuffing season, I am in full support of defying the relationship norm this fall season, and staying single while the weak fall to the relationship demon. Unless someone asks me to homecoming… if that happens, I’m totally forgetting all of this and going.